Anxiety in Evidence: Anger, Part 2

So, in the first part of Anxiety and Anger, we looked at Moses and Peter, some things to remember about anger, and we left it with anger leading us into sin, but not being sin itself. We need to dig deeper to keep from sinning.

Dig Deeper

Digging deeper to understand the underlying emotion of anger is easier said than done. After years of trying to understand some of my outburst, I still struggle with anger and what it is pointing to below the simmer (or boil). I’m getting better at distinguishing disappointment, sadness and fear. And many other reasons for anger. The anxiety that lays under anger can be well hidden and confusing. To distinguish what was going on, I had to look into it and ask myself what was going on. Journaling remarkable incidents of anger and talking them through with others can help us understand the complexity of emotions below it. I was able to talk through some incidents and then a pattern emerged. I was afraid of not measuring up, not being good enough.

I only today sat down to consider what was going on behind Moses’s actions in the striking of the rock twice. We can learn from others as well, simply by asking questions and trying to understand motivation in anger.

Thoughtlessness in Anger

My own experience leads me to believe that anxiety and fear can make me terribly thoughtless toward others. I think it is most common for me to strike out at others when fear is in the midst. Is it that way for you too? I have had to train myself not to speak out in fear. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment. And I am struck by Psalm 94, verse 18-19, ‘When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.’ This is like crying out to our Lord ‘I’m failing and falling’ and He says ‘I love you still. I will not leave you.’ Like me saying, ‘I’m so worried,’ and He replies, ‘I am here; my Spirit is walking with you,’ which explodes into an understanding of his presence and joy. He understands our folly and responds to that fear. He will also reveal what is underlying the anger. Just ask. Cry out to Him.

Prayer Conversations

In prayer, we can ask for help to understand the anger, and underlying emotions. Here we focus on fear. Perhaps you will see more than only fear. Anger is just an indication that we should check what is going on with our emotions. Once we know, we must give voice to that understanding.

It is hard to be vulnerable and put out the fire of anger. But that is freeing. We speak and bring things out of the darkness and into the light. We need to point out the fear of failure. When I was first starting the blog, I was angry about not knowing how to do a website and put months into learning it and tweaking this and that. When in prayer, I realized that I was angry, but it was really fear of failure once I went online. What would people say? Would I be ridiculed? Would I say (write) the wrong thing? I still struggle with this when I look at the number of followers and the lack of items in the shop. But God has filled all of that with His Spirit when I sit down to write these articles. He responds to the prayer and searching to understand the anger. His love drives out fear and calms my anger.

Speak Truth

Once we are able to identify better our underlying feelings, we are better placed to act appropriately when afraid or angry. Speaking truth with those that are present in time of anger makes us vulnerable. Talking about the potential future that we fear can open us to others and can open us to options. I talked with an expert in web design and asked for help. I had no idea what it would cost to even have a consultation. But I stepped up and told someone I thought I was failing. She was gracious and complementary and made suggestions. For free! I was open and vulnerable, but that put me in a position to make informed choices and move forward instead of remaining stuck in fear.

Prayerful consideration behind anger and openly speaking truthfully of my fears has lifted me out of the paralysis of fear.  

Share or comment what you think about anxiety and anger below. Thanks!