Emotions: controlled or bottled up?

The last article spoke of the control that God has enabled us to have over our emotions, through the Spirit, knowledge of Him and living out a godly life. But it seems like we should also consider whether we have put our emotions under the control of the Spirit in us (self/spirit-control) or if we have stuffed them into a bottle deep inside where they fester. I recently heard a talk on grief and how when we bury that emotion, it often reaches out from that depth despite our trying to bury it.

Time for every emotion

As Ecclesiastes 3:1 (and 4-8) says, ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens,’ time to tear and build, weep and laugh, mourn and dance, embrace or refrain from embracing, be silent or speak, love or hate, a time for war and a time for peace. The times are both the good AND the bad, it is not an either/or situation. We cannot ignore one because we don’t want to experience it. We cannot ignore it because we think in the midst of one emotion, we ‘shouldn’t’ experience another. Laughter happens even in the midst of suffering or mourning; love happens in the time of war. Several psalms offer us examples of lament of those who are lawless all around us and even how lawless we ourselves are.

Psalm 73 as guide

Psalm 73 offers us a guideline for how we can process our emotions and ensure they are dealt with and not stuffed away, waiting for explosion or implosion. The psalm lays out for God all of the feelings and the things that the writer has seen in the worldly people around him. It is easy to understand the frustration and envy that grow in the psalmist’s heart; those around us who behave despicably, yet have everything money can buy, those who are sleek and lean without any effort, those who steal and lie and cheat and yet have immeasurable wealth, those who threaten yet seem to have the ear of all the ‘important’ people. Oh, I don’t have to imagine, I can picture the people around him, because they are around me and on television, in the news and on social media.

Check Perspective

But then we come to verses 16-17, ‘But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.’ The lament ends with this and the psalm is a reminder of our position of righteousness in God compared to the worldly position seen through human eyes. Our perspective changes when we view the world and the churning emotions through the lens of God rather than relying on our own human vision. So, the consideration should be how we view the situation, do we see it as it is in God’s eyes or in worldly eyes, we need to check our perspective: worldly or godly.

Bitterness or Confession

Then we clearly see the envy and malice that has grown in us, verses 21-22 acknowledge the bitterness that builds in the heart and our beastly attitude that comes to the forefront when we have not dealt with things. For me, it is when I dwell on all that they have and forget how much I have in Christ that captures the negative emotions in my heart and they fester. The psalmist writes verses 3 to 15 with this his heart, twelve verses of lament over the behavior of others; he writes another three verses of near-glee that they will have a terrible end. Dwelling on others and their possessions and behavior will drive us to bitterness. Then verses 23-24 finally turn over the anguish to God, who holds our hand and gives us counsel. He was always there, holding our hand while we left that bottled inside as we looked around and pondered ‘them’ instead of Him. Psalm 32 goes a step further in describing the bitterness, describing it as the wasting of our bones and a heavy weight upon us. Indeed, we wear the weight like a necessary cloak, though we are stifling inside; we feel that heat, we see red or are green with envy. The choice must be made: to bottle and grow in bitterness and bend under the burden, or to confess our emotions and the sin in our hearts. Psalms 73 and 32 lead us to the choice of bitterness in our hearts or confession to God.

Grace or Works

By verse 25 of Psalm 73,the writer has forgotten the envy and bitterness, focusing on his true desire- God. He reminds us that God is the One of grace, he reaches out to the One who can balance the emotion. Psalm 139 cries out to God to search us and know us intimately. In searching us, we offer up the root of our choices to be aligned with God’s choices rather than muddling our way through the emotions. The muddling of emotions can lead us to work, rather than grace. The envy the psalmist describes can drive us to achieve things that were never in His good plan; we have to rest in His grace and walk in His ways. The drive of works or the rest of grace are revealed in our actions and words. We are again encouraged to make another choice in managing our emotions: cover emotions and sin with works or receive God’s grace to erase the sin and heal our emotions.

Dependence

The psalm then proclaims God as our portion, our strength, and our refuge. Knowing God means leaning on Him in all situations, anger and happiness, guilt and relief, sadness and joy, mourning and elation, every emotion on the spectrum. Our emotions distract us from leaning on God, and we turn inward to manage, work or get through things; sometimes we ask others to solve issues for us. But when God is my God, I choose to rely upon Him. The closing verses, 26-28, beg the question of who we rely upon, who I rely upon: myself or God.

Praise God

The last phrase of verse 28 says that he ‘will tell of all God’s works.’ We come to the praise portion of the psalm, short though it may be. Psalm 32 (verse 11) also ends with a short ‘rejoice in the Lord’. Psalm 51 pours out to God the desire to have joy restored and Psalm 139 praises God’s works in our individuality throughout. Whatever our emotion, we are also called to honor and praise God.

Conclusion

I think when we look at our actions and words and thoughts, we quickly find where our hearts are in the mess of emotion. God is always ready to help us through, and He is patient to do so. I find when I have bottled up emotions, they are tied up in a knot and I have trouble discerning the various things I’m feeling, so patience is necessary. A friend or counselor can guide us in the process as well. The psalms are a godly place to begin working through our feelings too.

In summary, Psalm 73 guides us through the questions:

Is my perspective worldly or Godly?

Is my heart bitter or have I confessed to God?

Have I received God’s grace or am I trying to cover my emotions with works?

Am I relying upon my own strength in this, or God’s?

Have I honored and praised God through my words and actions?

Edited from original post Oct 26, 2020.