Distortion in our Mind
I have been reminded time and again of how I respond in anger to situations. And I finally realized, well the Lord perhaps has revealed to me that the situations in particular are related to disappointment. When I am disappointed, I get angry about it. I am so downcast that it seems like ‘the end of the world’ to me. Then I get more disappointed because I know I have reacted badly. The cycle is vicious.
Others may hear phrases in the mind like, ‘What did I do this time?’ or ‘Why is it always me?’. Unfortunately, we create distorted views of ourselves not only from what others say or do, but also within our own minds. We are critical and blame ourselves, we are self-conscious and sense that we are inadequate. Perhaps this comes from comparison. Perhaps this too comes from things others have said or done. Whatever it is we say to ourselves, it comes from a distorted sense of the situation, a distorted sense of our own lives.
These thoughts criticize the person that we are and drop us lower than low. In a meeting you might have a brainstorming idea but crush it yourself as ‘stupid’ and don’t share it. Before going out the door for an appointment, you look in the mirror and think ‘why try? What a slob.’ If I think I look like a slob, I will probably act like one too. These insecurities are also a reflection of distorted views of who we are.
Tools for clear vision
The other day we considered the Word as a tool to address distorted views, and here again we should do that. ‘Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds,’ (Deut 11:18). This kind of negative self-talk can be a challenge to be rid of because we don’t usually say them out loud. When I realized that I needed to look into disappointment in the Bible (at the realization above), I googled verses for disappointment and was scanning through and thinking, ‘yes I know that, I know that’ as I read each verse. But then God sort of cleared his throat and said, ‘hmmm, look again Sarah; that one.’ Romans 8:28 was that verse, we know it well, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’ I got stuck in that ‘works’ and I realized that this disappointment is only momentary. It does not mean that the issue, story, problem, event is over and failed. It means that God is working it out. The end of the story has not been written yet. This when He is working it out, for my good. Even when this thing is still stuck in my craw and I don’t see the good of it, I must trust that it is good.
It took years for me to come to the realization that a lot of my anger was related to disappointment. I think sometimes these bits of distortion are hidden from us. Maybe we don’t even notice the negative speak because it has become part of what we do. It is time to reclaim who we are, though. Ask God to help you see how you see yourself and how He sees you. Pray that He will give you his vision of you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 admonishes us to ‘rejoice always and pray continually.’ I don’t think it is by chance that these two are side-by-side. As we are praying, we must also point our thoughts to rejoicing. This too is a tool which changes us and our view of self. How could we be negative about ourselves if we rejoice in Him and in who He made us to be!
Great disappointment turned joy
Both Mary and Martha surrendered to Jesus when he arrived after the death of their brother, Lazarus. They were sad and probably disappointed that Jesus didn’t come; they both acknowledged Christ’s power to heal, and that he hadn’t. Yet they were not prepared for the new life that He would offer. Jesus called for Lazarus to come up and live anew and out he came! What healing! But the remarkable thing is that he came out in his grave wrappings. Jesus had given Lazarus a new life, but Lazarus was stuck in the old trappings. I was stuck in my grave-wrappings of seeing an end when it was just the middle of Him ‘working it out’. It was only with help that Lazarus ‘take off the grave clothes and let go,’ (John 11:1-44). That Lazarus needed help to remove the old is striking. I think I had always pictured him coming out of the grave all shiny and new. But wow, like Martha said, he probably stunk and needed to get rid of smelly clothes and bathe too. We need help and we need time. God is here, but we can also turn to friends, family, and church-led small groups. Embracing the new you comes more easily when others are present to straighten out the distortion.
Complete Life
Just as the new life was not immediate for Lazarus, neither is it for us. This transformation may be more like the butterfly that sees nothing within a cocoon for a long time. Then when it breaks free it continues to struggle as the wings dry out and can hold it in the air. The progress may be maddeningly slow, but in Him we are made complete (Col 2:10). We have been made full in Him which is realized through studying the word, rejoicing in Him, praying continually, and walking with others.
