A Father's Cares and Fears
God cares about our children. When the disciples tried to send away the children whose parents brought them for blessings from Jesus, He insisted on seeing them. Jesus cares for children. Even unto death, Jesus cared for Jairus’s daughter (Mark 5). The seizing boy in Mark 9 as well was cared for by Jesus. He also cared for the daughter of the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15. God is Father too. His only begotten Son was beaten and stripped and died a horrible death. Their close communion was ripped away. He knows what a parent’s suffering is. He knows what separation feels like. He knows what temptations taunt children (and adult children) and worry parents.
Two fear actions
Fearing for kids leads to two actions: taking our fear to the kids or taking our fear to God. The alternative to entrusting children to God is to become prison guards or indulgent guardians. Prison guard parents communicate their mistrust of the world and God to the children and this lack of trust stifles growth and individuality. Indulgent guardians fail to discipline children but lavish them with hugs and gifts creating selfish and demanding children. There is a huge variance in child-rearing and likely no one way to do anything. When Jairus is told the worst news any parent could her, ‘your daughter is dead,’ Jesus told him, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe,’ (Mark 5:35-36). Jesus knew the fear of loss and the not knowing, not being there in the crucial moments. Do not fear; just believe. We have to choose to believe in the trials and tests of our little ones; we have to choose to let faith grow larger as fear diminishes in the face of Christ.
Psalm 127 lays out the path of the parent: the house must be built by the Lord or we labor in vain. For it is the Lord who watches over us, we toil and sleep poorly when we think we can do more than Him. He grants us rest from worry just as He grants us children. He blesses us with children, just as He blesses us with other rest, food, and pleasurable work.
Trust in the learning
God has handed over His children to the care of parents. Yes, parents are charged to raise them well, but that means to raise them in His ways. We can try to protect them from everything in life, but we aren’t able to do that, only God is. We can direct them to life Himself. Just as He entrusted them to us, we can entrust them back to Him for safekeeping.
As a teacher, I saw the results of the spectrum and the boundaries kids tried to push. It was most satisfying when the kids knew they shouldn’t or couldn’t do something and stopped because it was for their own good. Making fun of others and with just a look they stopped and apologized without prompting. At the end of one school year, I found a folded-up paper when cleaning my drawers and the incident returned to mind: two boys sharing notes and drawings with each other and getting caught. They were super remorseful and embarrassed. They begged me not to look at the paper, knowing it was inappropriate. They didn’t give me cause to question their repentance, so it didn’t get opened. I am glad I didn’t open the note before school had finished because I honestly don’t know how I would have handled it, it was scandalous. But I think they learned. That is all we can hope with children: that they learn the lessons we teach, that they learn to trust and build friendships, that they come to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior.
Responsible for godly instruction
As parents and older family members, we cannot leave God-ly instruction to Sunday school class. We all have to demonstrate our faith, our choice to spend time with God and seek His counsel. We have to choose to celebrate God in our own ways as a family and bring Him into our daily life and the mundane. Then all of us, at every and any age, will know He loves us. We will know His voice when the critical moments come. We will know His character and that He does what He says. We will know who we are in Him and find our worth in Him. We will know Him and trust that His love is enough.
The difference in us
It is in this knowing God that we find our fear is gone, that we find our courage is great and our hope unending. None of the Bible promises that we will have smooth sailing, some will lose children, some will lose contact for years, some will see the destructions coming and be unable to help their children. But God can. God can help and He does. He cares. He is there when we cannot be. He is there in the dark and in the light. He is in the prison cell and the therapy room. God will carry us through even our worst fear-fed ‘what ifs.’ But when we hear testimonies of those around us, we see that God was always there, even in the terrible and pain-filled moments. He faithfully carries us through the good and the bad. He loves us. He whispers to us, He demonstrates who He is, He reveals who we are, He does as He promised. We know Him and trust Him in His love revealed through our children’s troubles.
