Consider Sarah and Abraham, shall we? Sarah wanted a child. Not only did she want a child, but it was the most basic responsibly of a wife in her time. She had heavy cultural influences which added pressure to her own desires. When she had no luck on her own (so to speak), she devised a plan to get what she wanted: talked her husband into it, took advantage of her slave, and managed to get a child. Success, right? We all know that the situation devolved into a terrible relationship between Sarah and Hagar, Sarah blamed Abraham, she disbelieved God, and eventually even kicked ‘her son’ out into the world with only his mother, no provisions, nothing. The whole situation described in Genesis 16, 18 and 21 reeks of the consequences of controlling others. Thankfully, it also overflows with how God makes all things work for good.

How easily we slip into controlling others

Sarah is not the only person to ever try to control others to get what she wanted. I am certainly just as guilty of trying control on for size too. Now, I can put my hand on the shoulder of a child, seeking to guide them through a crowd. I think it likely that one of two things happen: the child chooses to follow my lead and we uneventfully make our way through the crowd, or, the other scene, the child slips under my fingers and darts through the crowd with me in a panicked run several yards behind, likely losing all control myself. So, before we get to the crowd, I may consider how to ‘make’ the child agree to the first scenario: offer an ice cream cone for doing it, holding tightly to the shoulder or hand. These are the ways that we humans ‘control’ others – we entice, yell, convince, manipulate, cry or otherwise alter and influence the situation to obtain what we want. In the end, it takes both the child and me deciding what we will do and how we will do it.

Control or Cooperate

I want my husband to do the laundry and hang it just so. I want to take a walk every day at noontime. I want my small group to choose another study and continue meeting together. I want the house to magically clean itself through no effort of mine. I want to control and ensure that these things all happen as I wish and when I wish. But the fact is I cannot. Other people are involved, and there is way too much ‘I’ in this. Each one of us has a choice to make in how we carry things out, in how much or little we engage with others, in how we behave, what we think, how we interact with our surrounding, and so on. We were created to be independent thinkers and doers, but we were also made complementary to one other.

Adam and Eve were created to be cooperative, to work together in harmony and complementing each other. Since the fall, we have needed a whole lot more instruction on how to do that, how to counter the me and join with us. The Bible is chock full of instruction and examples of how we can cooperate. I often read the traditional stories and see everything that is wrong, goes wrong or has a negative consequence. I’d like to propose that we put on the lens of learning and the lens of God’s purpose as we read his instruction and these stories instead.

Control in the Bible

I’ve done some study this morning, searching all the references to control in the Bible. What I find is that there are many instances. I looked at control, controlling, dominate, and even controller. I looked at controls, plural just to be sure I didn’t miss anything. What I found affirms what I have come to understand but did not have much evidence for.

What I found was that evil spirits control people, people control things as well as those things entrusted to them and people control themselves, and lastly God controls all of nature. If we carefully consider the verses, we will find that slaves were ‘owned’ people and therefore controlled by others. But by and large, people are not controlled by people. So, what this says is that controlling people, spouses, children, co-workers, etc. is outside of God’s will. They do not control nature or belongings which have not been entrusted to them. The thing is, I also couldn’t find a single example of God controlling people (more on that soon).

Choice to Follow

Like the example in the opening post this month, I am the one driving the car, Jesus is suggesting where to go (if you missed that, go back and see who took the wrong turn and who needs to surrender more often :-) ). He knows the rules of the road, he sees ahead and behind, he knows the best way for me to take. But he leaves the choice to me. He left the choice to Sarah. He left the choice to Abraham. He leaves it to us how and when we cooperate with him. He leaves the choice to us – every day we choose if we believe Him, or not.

That fundamental choice is what drives the rest. That choice leads us to follow Jesus or leave him at home on the shelf. That choice leads us to discerning his voice among the many or forgetting it entirely. That choice of faith is only the start of an incredible journey, the beginning of the growth of that mustard seed. Sarah clearly made that choice since she ends up in the hall of fame of faith (Hebrews 11). I’m glad she is a hall of famer because her story is not so different from mine, in that she clearly set aside God for a time before coming back to him. And she reminds us that the choice is ours to make each day, and that the consequences of those choices are not irredeemable, they do not separate us forever from God’s good will. She reminds us as well that manipulating, cajoling, and otherwise seeking our own desires when it is not God’s way just doesn’t work. Sarah’s efforts all on her own created a mess. Sarah wanted a child and God wanted her to have a child, but their methods were different, wildly different. My own efforts are not the means to get the end I want, even when the end I want is also God’s desire. God’s efforts will always be preferable, if I can just control myself long enough to let his plan work. And if we are outside his good plan, his will, he wants us to turn back. He wants us to make the choice of faith, believing Him. He just wants us back.