I am glad that in 2025 we will continue to consider the practices or disciplines that make us into the Christians we seek to be. I truly felt that the 12 that we looked at in 2024 were not enough. I suppose because people are complex, we simply cannot narrow it down to a handful of actions and behaviors. We are more than that. Jesus was more than that.

What is kindness?

I have struggled for years to understand kindness. That may strike some as odd. I mean, how hard is it to be “friendly, generous, considerate” as Oxford Dictionary says? I get that question. And I do try to be these things. But I also look at Jesus and Paul and I see that they left people in shock and discomfort – is that kind? We might have to argue that it is. It is kind to shock people. It is kind to make people uncomfortable.

Let’s look at some examples: Jesus and the rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16–30, Mark 10:17–31, and Luke 18:18–30) and Paul and putting people out of the church (1 Corinthians 5:1-5). I feel confident that we can assign kindness to Jesus’ behavior all the time, since kindness is a fruit of the Spirit and Jesus was the earthly representation of God. So, if I consider the kindness that Jesus did the rich young ruler, it is not in words or in the way he made a person feel that is kind. Kindness is in the concern for the eternal ramifications of the conversation and the life of the rich young ruler.

Examples from Jesus and Paul

When I consider being asked by a Christian-curious individual who says, “what do I have to do to have eternal life?”, today’s kindness would be to explain how “of course you can have eternal life!” Yet, Jesus said the hard part (set your priorities straight) that made the person turn away. Am I willing to say the thing that may turn someone away or will I say what will make the person feel good about themselves? Which is kindness?

Paul is an example of teaching others and teachings of the Spirit, perhaps we can also consider his example as that of kindness. Yet in the case of the Corinthian church, Paul said to send people out of the church meetings. How often have I thought, “but that person needs to be here and needs to hear the truth and see how God calls us to live. Why not have them attend church?” Yet the answer, according to Paul (and Jesus in Matthew 18:15-20) is to shun them. This would not qualify as friendly behavior and maybe not generous either. Is it considerate? I think this is where we get caught – what is it we are considering? Are we considering their eternal future or are we considering our own (and their) comfort?

Struggling with Kindness

So, I struggle. What is kindness? Is it just friendliness? I think not. And so I am a person known for challenging what we think and how we act. Because I feel that following Jesus is more important than being “nice” or “friendly”. But maybe what is missing when we read these examples is the tone of voice or style of delivery. How exactly do I say these biblically-kind things in the best way, especially when I don’t see them as being understood as “kindly”?

How do you view kindness? Is it unkind to address this? Is it way off-base? Leave a comment.