I can’t recall what it was about Brave that drew me in when I chose it for this year. I suppose if I had known that this year would be difficult, I may have chosen something like “calm”. But brave is a good word to embrace when surgery comes my, when cancer is again introduced to the family, and when memory loss becomes like a dirty word.

I am not accustomed to sharing much that is personal here on the blog, but it is challenging to say anything about bravery without sharing something personal. I can try new things, but that isn’t the only definition of brave.

The new things that I am trying are full of emotions other than the rush of bungee jumping (still haven’t done that – but if you have, I count that as brave). I find that I am dealing better with my own surgery than I am dealing with the health issues of my loved ones.

I can affirm God is good. We all have stories of what God has done, and now God is telling my story with health. Handing over health is the only option we have – there is little I can do that I have not already done. I eat well, have never smoked, and exercise five days a week.

I wonder if the absolute lack of being able to do something about this has made it any easier to throw my hands up and say, “Jesus take the wheel.” These health problems come to mind, but they are not something I worry over. I don’t want cancer to take my loved ones, but I realize that is a selfish thought. Because even more than my selfishness, I want my loved ones to be well. And that may mean they are not with me any longer. That is a hard thought.

But I find being brave is not about the what ifs, it is about living in the present. Today is the day that takes bravery. It’s bravery to live with joy this day that we have.

Are you living bravely in this day? Drop a comment below to share.